What a journey our family has been on.  We have all changed in so many ways that I feel like I need to introduce us all over again and give a little review of where we are and where we are going!

Parker: Parker is the most changed in the last year. I have watched her shrug off some insecurities, embrace her Jesus and begin to work out her faith in a year of transition. I have watched her walk onto a new Premier level soccer team, assess, struggle, work hard and grow. I have seen her embrace a new school, seek out those who are following Christ, realize how sheltered she has been and begin to share her faith. I have had the joy of taking her away for a weekend and telling her about the beauty of purity and literally watch some major lightbulbs go off! (that was fun. I highly recommend Passport to Purity by Dennis and Barbara Rainey) She turned 11 in December and I am just blown away that she is rounding out her Elementary school years.

Emery Kate: Emery is a marvel. Last May, her appendix ruptured and she spent 10 days in the hospital. She has learned what is means to persevere. She has experienced pain and has faced it with grit and determination. Emery is the toughest Stewart kid. No argument. I have watched her embrace her role as a little mommy, and has loved her brother in the face of hurt, anger, joy and frustration. I watched her walk into so many new circumstances and not look back, but I have also seen her feel emotions that don’t make sense to her and try to sort them into something that makes sense. I had the joy of sharing a weekend with her as well, sharing the amazing plan God has for her life. Emery is 9 and in the fourth grade.

Bradley: Bradley is our all out boy. He is active, loud, extreme and emotional.  I think the full effects of our year, between moving to Washington and becoming a big brother really hit once we moved. I have watched him struggle to reassess his role in our family, love this new brother and find contentment. BUT, he is a six year old boy and in the face of it all, he still has a joy about him that just makes you smile. He still loves all sports, being outside and knowing all sorts of facts about whatever we are doing, like the tallest building in Seattle…which I adore about him. He is all boy, but he still snuggles up next to me and I hope that never ends. Bradley turns 7 next week and is in the first grade.

Judson: I know I said Parker was the most changed, but in actuality, it is this guy. He is a completely different child. He is loud, all out, active, and affectionate. He calls us “my family” and when he prays, he simply tells Jesus about his day. He is attending preschool three days a week for a few hours and is three and a half. He has gone from the 20% in height to the 75% in 13 months. He loves trucks, especially the ones with trailers, his train table and Temple Run!

I wish I could say it has been all sunshine and rainbows, but we have fought for every bit of ground we have gained with him.  This journey has revealed more about my depth of flesh than I care to admit, but GOD, is rich in mercy and in spite of myself, He is restoring the years the locusts ate, for Judson and for me! I am so desperate for Jesus, for His thoughts, His mind, His love.

What an adventure we have lived, especially since August. The sights we have seen, the things we have heard, the questions we have been asked, the conversations we have had, the narrowing we have experienced have been an adventure! And, I am so very thankful!

It is hard to believe that it has been one year….

One year since we laid eyes on this boy….

And witnessed, first hand, the depth of his fear and trauma….

And began the journey of healing and growth for all of us…..

And learned, in a new and fresh way, what it means to truly depend on Jesus for our next breath, our nest hour, our next day…..

And began to see beauty in the small things, progress in minute ways, and experienced the mercies of new mornings…

We are not the same people or the same family that we were one year ago……

BUT….

We have learned that LOVE does cover a multitude of hurt and sin…That HE does bring beauty from ashes….That HE fights our battles for us…and that we have a choice in how we respond on the hardest of days and in the face of intense joy. We have also seen a sweet, precocious, energetic, playful, defiant, exhausting, boy come alive. We have watched language burst forth, heard the words “I wuv you” seen sibling love and sibling fights in the span of two seconds, and watched ALL of our children RISE up.

We are a family that is daily being grafted together, not by blood, but by choice. We are more aware that we are nothing apart from Christ and HE alone is the author of our days. We have embraced the calling HE has on our life to live a life poured out, boundless, full of adventure and unleashed from our own notions of what our lives should be….

We are not the same……

And, I am so thankful…..

This past weekend, Jason and I had the chance to get away to Seattle for a few days to prepare for the move.

We had a list of what we felt like we needed to accomplish and set out to get some things done! Our adventure started out a little shaky thanks to Southwest Airlines. We received a text saying our flight was delayed about 50 minutes, so we set out a few minutes later than originally planned. Then, as we are in route we get another text saying it was on time…which was 20 minutes later! AWESOME.

We pulled in on two wheels, parked in short term parking (first row for $24 a day), got a short lecture from the lady at the counter about arriving on time and were told there was little chance we would make it. She was full of encouragement.

We did the classic RUN through the airport, only to arrive at the FARTHEST GATE and boarding HAD NOT EVEN STARTED. At least I got some exercise in before a six hour flight.

Thankfully, our sweet friends, Kristi and Sully, came and picked up our van, and we didn’t have to pay outrageously for parking!

We had lunch the next day with Dale and Tina Braswell, our campus pastor and his wife at our Lynnwood campus, on Thursday and then started our weekend search for a place to lay our heads for the year. Which for a family of six…quite the challenge! We drove all over the area and scouted out houses, so it felt really great to lay eyes on the area and begin to get our bearings. Jason and I actually went to a movie that evening, which was the first in a long time, so it was very nice!

Friday we were able to go to downtown Seattle and play tourist. We did Pike Place, which I just love. When you come and see us, it will be the place we take you. We had some great conversations with the locals and found out about Green Lake, which has a large park around it, so we headed there for dinner and ate at a local restaurant, Spud’s Fish and Chips. We just took it all in, imagining what our life will look like over the next year.

Saturday could have been an episode of House Hunters we looked at SOOO many places. We are debating homeschool versus sending the kids to school, but school still factors into our decision making. We also looked at old and new, yard and no yard, closer in and farther out….you name it, we looked at it! We narrowed it down to a couple.

Sunday we went to LifePoint Lynnwood! We were able to have lunch with a sweet couple who attended our Smyrna Campus for years and have moved to Seattle to be with their grandkids. Then that afternoon, we spent time with some leaders at the Lynnwood Campus. It was such a great, relaxing afternoon. They are all so very welcoming and encouraging of us. They are willing to help us in any way, which makes this much less daunting. I am so thankful that my kids will have built in friends! Such a frequent prayer is that our kids will be SALT and LIGHT and that they will build good friendships quickly.

Sunday night we went to dinner with the Braswells at a very cool restaurant in Edmonds which was on the water. I ate Salmon, of course! I am just overwhelmed with the beauty of God’s creation that we get to explore and see everyday!

We saw a few more houses before we left and still did not have a complete peace about which one, but felt confident that we had some options. Literally, on our way to the airport, we drove by one last house that had JUST come back up on craigslist. We looked in the window, talked to a neighbor and later in the week, Dale gave us a Skype tour of it! That house, is less than a mile from their home, is zoned for the same school the Braswell girls attend and has a fenced yard.

And, the Landlord is a Christ follower.

God has provided and opened door after door, confirming and revealing that He is for us, He is with us and all we are to do is walk one step at a time in obedience.

To answer a few questions:

We are not selling our home. We LOVE our home and plan to be back in it next Summer.

We are DRIVING across this great nation.

Knox needs a home for a year…still figuring the 12 year old Yellow Lab out.

Our kids spoke into this decision and are on board.

More to come…

The main reason I started blogging again is because I know I am going to have a lot of material to share over the next year.

Because we are moving…

To Seattle, Washington….

For One year….

Our church is a SENDING church, we don’t just say it, we actually DO it. We have five campuses, two internationally. One of those campuses is located in Lynnwood, Washington, a suburb of Seattle. We believe in sending teams of people to reach a community, to BE the church where there is NO church and show the LOVE of Christ in a very real way. Jason and I, along with our four children, have the privilege to do that, everyday of our lives, but specifically, in the community of Lynnwood, in the city of Seatlle, over the next year.

Crazy, right?

Yes, in may ways it is crazy to think about packing up our family of 6, driving 2500 miles with a TODDLER and living apart from friends, family and an amazing church family for one year.

But, Noah also built an ark when it had NEVER rained, so I am thinking….us, not so CRAZY. Yet, when we reflect on the expanse of our God and the Scriptures, this is far from crazy but yet another incredible gift from a loving God that allows us to join Him and know Him in another way in our lives.

Jason will still maintain his current job at our LifePoint Smyrna Campus, but will do it from Seattle. We get to be apart of another great campus and pour into the lives of the people there, as well as those who NEED to be there. When Jason and I began to think through this and seek the Lord, we had a lot of questions, fears and uncertainty, mainly concerning our four, precious children. How would they adjust? Is it too much transition? Will people make fun of their southern accents or for one, southern Ethiopian accents? But at the end of the day, we are giving them an amazing adventure and hopefully, living out obedience to Jesus, even when there are fears, unanswered questions, many unknowns and the knowledge that we will have HARD days.

One year, in a cool, beautiful, city….could be a lot worse.

We are still working out details, but we are hoping to head west at the beginning of August. So I know the first thing you are thinking is how can I pray for the Stewarts? Pray for our children…Pray for wisdom for Jason and I as we have a LOT of decisions that need to made quickly and if you know us, that is not necessarily a strength…pray for our parents, who love Jesus, but really wish He would keep their grandchildren CLOSE…

We are willing to answer any questions and ask that you encourage our children over the next few weeks. Love on them, pray for them and build into them the knowledge that they are being the hands and feet of  Jesus…

Let the adventure begin…..

It has been fairly obvious I have not written the story of our family for the last 6 months. Don’t get me wrong, the story has been written, just not in a neat, concise way. It has been messy, but we have walked each day confident that God is with us and He will never leave us. Here are a few highlights:

Parker completed the fourth grade on the Principal’s list for ALL A’s ALL year. Amazing that girl is, as Yoda would say. She played rec league soccer and continues to show a love and desire the game. She was also able to be a guest player on the travel team in our area and LOVED it. To say that God is at work in her heart would be an understatement. She is starting to GET it. She, as much as she can at 10, is beginning to understand the call to be a disciple of Jesus, what it means, how it is played out and He is very REAL for her. We are watching her recognize her strengths and her weaknesses, and each day, try to work it out.

She has grown in GRACE.

Emery…where do I start. She loves Gymnastics and competed in two competitions. She is level 2 and really enjoys it. She always wants to try new things. She completed the third grade, on the honor roll,  but missed the last two weeks of school due to a Ruptured Appendix. We spent 11 days at Vandy Chidlren’s and then another 11 days with IV antibiotics…while we were at the beach. I am flat out amazed at how she handled the pain she was in, endured, toughed it out and did a great job at having a good attitude while feeling crummy. She didn’t eat for a week and had additional infection…but would get this look of resolve on her face that would bring tears to this Mom’s eyes. She is the TOUGHEST person I know.

She has grown  in DETERMINATION and PERSEVERANCE.

Bradley completed Kindergarten and did excellent on his final Kindergarten test, getting all his math correct. His precious teacher has said she can now write a book on how to teach math using football (a field goal + a touchdown= 9).  He played Flag Football and was a beast. He was total game face, into it and was just a joy to watch. He also went to his first NBA game with his Daddy and LOVED it all.  We have seen him begin to understand what it means to be a big brother and choose to lay down some things that he really would rather hold tightly.  He makes friends so easily and is ALL boy!!

He is growing in SERVICE.

Judson turned 3!!! He loves Mother’s Day Out and going to church. He is 90% potty trained and loves to play outside. His Language blows me away. We had him evaluated and developmentally, he is almost on target, even after only hearing English for 5 months…he is crazy smart. He is continuing to sleep well and making good progress in learning what it means to be in a family, but more specifically, OUR family. He is a TODDLER and we have a lot of moments of aggression and yelling, but we have learned SO much of how to handle those moments in a more positive manner.  He had a seizure, an ambulance ride and his chin glued shut also! He is silly, charming, loves to be the center of attention and is about as CUTE as any little boy should be! We are all walking the dance of attachment daily and focusing on each DAY. He has shot up from the 20% in height to the 60%, so we are seeing him catch up in so many ways.

He is growing in LOVE.

There are times in the life of your family where that is what it is about …FAMILY.  The Lord has narrowed our lives to each day and the realization that we are NOTHING apart from HIM. I have learned so much about myself these last six months and have realized many truths about this journey of faith. It is rocky, it is steep, it is long, it is joy, it is sorrow, it is sacrifice, it is abundant, it is rich and it is often full of changes we never saw coming…..

Part of our adoption journey has been helping Judson adjust to his family and part of it has been helping oor family adjust to one more member! Jason and I always said we wanted four kids, plus or minus one….I’m thinking four is good! I am about to make them count off in public because I am so nervous I am going to lose one!

Early on, we quickly realized we had to make some adjustments to make sure ALL of our kids were getting the attention they needed, because most days, I felt too disconnected from Parker, Emery and Bradley.  We were in the same room and doing our normal routine, but we knew they needed, as did we, a little more!

So, we came up with a very complicated, intricate plan….we let each kid stay up for 15 to 20 minutes past bedtime, one night a week. Earth shattering, right? It may not seem like a big deal, BUT, it has had a huge impact on our family! Not only do we get to spend one on one time with each child, but it has decreased bedtime drama because we have a plan. During our 15 minutes, we do an activity they want, but also check in with them about how they are adjusting and feeling!  Since we are a LARGER family, we are realizing we have to be creative and make adjustments to make sure  each child has our attention and time.

What things do you do to have one on one time with your kiddos?

To sum up all that has occurred in the four weeks that Judson has been home, would be impossible, but I do want to share how we are adjusting to being a Party of Six!

Some of what I have discovered and experienced in the past four weeks, is very personal and private. There have been moments of fun, smiles, joy, firsts and many laughs. There have also been moments of tears, desperation, exhaustion and fear.

FOR ALL OF US..

In one of those moments, the Lord, impressed upon me, that it is not MY job to heal Judson Obsi….only HE can. It is not my job to restore and redeem this precious soul..only JESUS can work that in and through his life.  My job is to seek to daily be obedient to love and serve ALL of my children.  We are the primary vehicle that the Lord will use to bring about security and consistency in Judson’s life and on some days that is ridiculously natural and easy. On others…I question every decision I am making. Every anxiety and fear comes out and questions…am I doing this right? Am I responding in a way that will help him connect and attach to me?  Can I do this?

The reality is NO…I can not do this. I detest when people say that God will not give you more than you can handle….Wanna bet? He will consistently give you more than you can handle…because in OUR weakness, HE is made strong. Because in those moments, we have a chance to die to ourselves, submit to HIM and beg Him to meet us in our need. And in that process, HIS NAME is made great and our lives are ABUNDANTLY lived.

Judson Obsi has surprised us on a daily basis. He is active, into EVERYTHING, a performer and LOVES to make people laugh. He was VERY apprehensive when we fist arrived home, with EVERYONE including Parker, Emery and Bradley. But after the first week, he realized that these kids are fun and want to take care of me. He has gotten more and more comfortable in new situations and we have gradually gotten into the community and to church.   Bedtime and sleep were initally a big issue until we figured out how to approach it in a way that worked for him and for us. He is now sleeping through the night, in the room he shares with Bradley.  He does not really play with toys, yet, but loves cabinets, remotes, opening and closing doors and just exploring. He loves to be outside and likes to be on the go. He has been to church, but is not ready to be in his class, yet.  We have visitied his MDO class and he stayed for a little while without me in the room. Many, many, strides….he is a fighter and so resilient.

Judson has a few medical issues that we are addressing. He has been to the Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic and we are going to begin his immunizations again. We are also having him assessed for OT and PT services. He is pretty healthy and we are so thankful.

This has also been a major transition for the rest of us. I have seen my children RISE up and SERVE this little boy. I have seen Parker mature in so many small ways.  She is always asking me what she can do and is such a HELPER.  She blesses me.  She loves to play and hold Judson, but also needs a break from him. Emery is such a GIVER. She loves to hold and play with Judson, teach him new things and just keeps coming back for more. She amazes me. Even when he has bitten or hit her, she keeps coming back to love him. Bradley has been slower to warm up, but has turned the corner.  To be honest, to watch him navigate this transition, has been very emotional for this mommy.  I have watched him GROW into being a big brother, to teach and play with his brother. They have lived out grace and mercy.

For me, it has been harder than I ever imagined, but more simple than I could have dreamed.

Judson Obsi, you are worth it all.

A big concern you often have with adopted children is how will they sleep, the same one any new parent shares. Think about it,  to fall asleep, means letting your guard down and trusting those around you or your environment to keep you safe. For others, it is a self preservation technique, which seems to be our case. He slept great., much better than Jason and I, since we were both up at 3:00am. We finally got up and did a mini workout to help us get moving! All the while, Judson Obsi is still asleep.
At 8:00 we finally woke him up. He was a little apprehensive looking, but after a few minutes, he seemed to relax some.
Jason took him down for breakfast and he ate eggs and some buddy fruit. We can tell he is used to being fed and having things done for him. But, those sisters of his will not struggle to be that helper, but learning the balance should be interesting. After breakfast, he played with Abel and Nate.

And did amazing.

He played cars, linking beads, balls and was interacting with the boys. He spoke to them and it was just so fun to watch, knowing these boys will grow up together. What a gift we have at our church! God has placed the lonely in so many families who have been obedient to adopt and has given a spirit of grace and love for these children, in the hearts of others. The Body of Christ at work is evident and I am so very thankful.

While playing, we notice that he is very stiff legged and has an uneven gait. I am fairly certain he does not run. But, he did begin to try to repeat words we would say and even counted as we went up the stairs! He seemed so much more at ease today. Jason fed him some injera for lunch and we prepared for our Embassy appointment.

I was very nervous about riding in the van with him, because we know he has gotten car sick in the past, but he just looked out the window. He becomes more stoic as we move into new situations. His default mode is very unemotional, which in fact, shows the emotions are welling in him. He finally fell asleep. When we were settled in at Embassy, we spoke with several other families and were again, struck with how blessed we have been on this journey. Many had been referred to Rome for further investigation or have waited for 30+ months. But, our son was also the oldest of all the kiddos at 2.5 years.  He was stone faced the whole time, holding his sippy cup and cars. He did fall asleep because we waited forever. For some reason, our name got lost in the shuffle somewhat…or our facilitator forgot to sign us in! The actual interview was brief and like going to the bank teller. He did ask what we knew of the birth mom, and he told us a little about her story from his interview with her last week. Wow. I wanted to invite him to dinner to learn more, but that did not seem appropriate!

Finally, we head back to the Guest House and we were influenced to not be out with the kids in public a lot. We had actually gotten a taste of why the day before when we were walking to go eat. We were going to go with the Mitchells and another family to do some shopping. The ladies at our Guest house are so sweet and talked with Judson Obsi telling him we would be back. He does this cute little half head nod, a lot, and you can’t help but just love it.

When we got back, he cried. Either at the sight of us or out of relief….but he did cry. We decided to not go out to eat but instead, stayed in. He was very apprehensive with us again, but was also SO tired. He just fell asleep.

We were not far behind him and finally got a decent night of rest…..

I realized that I needed to put pictures to words to remember our Gotcha Day. Our agency director, Sue, actually sent all of these to us….

Jason and I seeing Judson Obsi

Approaching him gently…no tears!

Ahh, there are the tears…those clothes and tennis ball are the only thing we have from his orphanage days.

You can see he is looking for an out…anyone? Please?

Jason and Sue got in on the action to see if they could calm him…it didn’t work.

This is Hewitt…she is amazing. She talked to him for several minutes and calmed him right down. I realized later that we left without giving her a chance to tell him goodbye and it just hurts my heart. She cared for him for 9 months and I can imagine that she was a source of comfort and stability for him.

We had several other parents at the T house that day and we shared many conversations as we let him acclimate to us a little more.

Judson has an amazing dad and I love how he began to look to him from day one. Those few days we had just us and Judson Obsi were such a blessing and I am so thankful for our moments, just the three of us.

I will always remember this day for the simplicity of it and the significance of it. No turning back, Judson is finally where he was created to be.

January 9-10

Travel Day was crazy, of course!
Jason was able to go to the staff retreat for a while and I finished last minute details. Emery had gotten strep throat over the weekend so she was home with me.
We were able to spend a little time with Parker, Emery and Bradley as I was, no doubt, throwing things in the suitcase.
Our last moments as a Party of Five we spent in prayer together.
It was precious to this mommy, who can’t shield them from the long days ahead, but I can point them to the fact that we are in this together.

This is their story, as much as his.

And I have no doubt they will Rise to the task that God has given us.

Next stop….Ethiopia.

January 11, Gotcha Day

As soon as we landed in Addis, we were able to get a game plan together for the day. It was 8am and we had been traveling for almost 14 hours. We originally thought we would go to our guest house and get some rest, but after talking with our Agency Director, who is in town, we decided to go, get changed and head to the Transition house to pick him up. We are so excited to be traveling with Charlie and Gina Mitchell, a family from our church who are bringing home Nate and  Abe. We were greeted by them and their sons at the guest house and we both received an extra dose of energy. We all ended up going to get Judson Obsi.
Sue, our agency director was at the T house, along with a few other parents!

Our moment was not dramatic except in the only way that matters….
He let us approach him, touch him, and talk to him for a few minutes With NO TEARS!!

We had been told he was giving out smiles and high fives, so we knew the prayers of so many were not returning void!

We felt hope and joy!
He of course started crying, but we went into the living room and Hewitt, the lead nanny, spent a long time talking to him, telling him we are his mommy and daddy, we love him, and that she was going to get him candy! He finally calmed down, interacted with us, then, fell asleep.
We left the place he has known for 9 months , as he slept…

When we got to the Guest house, we spent a lot of time playing cars, eating suckers and being with Nate and Abe. I am so thankful we are traveling with them. They are familiar, active boys and just plain fun. They also provide familiarity for him.

That afternoon, I was able to feed him Injera and give him lots of water that he is drinking from a sippy cup! We heard him speak in this high pitched voice, scolding Abe for trying to take his smarties! It was such an answered prayer just be with him!

He is showing an ease with Jason and would just lean into him. What a picture of grace and love…a child leaning into his father. He is still very solemn and shows no emotions and we definitely have some developmental and health issues to address, but he made tremendous progress today. h

His only episode of crying was when I tried to lay him down for a nap. Too much for our guy. So Jason held him and he fell asleep for a nap. We gave him a shower after he woke up and he refused to sit in the tub for a bath. It was obvious he didn’t know what to do. His belly is very distended and his pull ups are falling down because the rest of him is so tiny.  We put on his pjs, and I can’t tell you how BIG that felt to this mommy who thinks matching pjs is essential!

After that we tried to feed him, but he was not very hungry. We are learning if you put a lot in front of him, he wants to have it all in his hands. Trial by fire with the food…

And tonight, he fell asleep with a magna doodle in his hand and his mommy by his side and has slept all night, unlike his parents! He is actually still sleeping at 7:30.

Jason and I were spending some time in the Word this morning and Jason read John 4:46-54 and how appropriate it was for us on this early morning….

So he came again to Cana in Galilee, where he had made the water wine. And at Capernaum there was an official whose son was ill. When this man heard that Jesus had come from Judea to Galilee, he went to him and asked him to come down and heal his son, for he was at the point of death. So Jesus said to him, “Unless you see signs and wonders you will not believe.” The official said to him, “Sir, come down before my child dies.”
Jesus said to him, “Go; your son will live.”
The man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him and went on his way.
As he was going down, his servants met him and told him that his son was recovering. So he asked them the hour when he began to get better, and they said to him, “Yesterday at the seventh hour the fever left him.”
The father knew that was the hour when Jesus had said to him, “Your son will live.”
And he himself believed, and all his household. This was now the second sign that Jesus did when he had come from Judea to Galilee. (John 4:46-54 ESV)

We believe this promise that OUR SON WILL LIVE, not just physically, but that the real boy will be unleashed and come alive.  What a gift we were given from Jesus, speaking truth to our minds And hearts!

We are rejoicing in this day and know that God is at work…praise you, Father…..