To sum up all that has occurred in the four weeks that Judson has been home, would be impossible, but I do want to share how we are adjusting to being a Party of Six!
Some of what I have discovered and experienced in the past four weeks, is very personal and private. There have been moments of fun, smiles, joy, firsts and many laughs. There have also been moments of tears, desperation, exhaustion and fear.
FOR ALL OF US..
In one of those moments, the Lord, impressed upon me, that it is not MY job to heal Judson Obsi….only HE can. It is not my job to restore and redeem this precious soul..only JESUS can work that in and through his life. My job is to seek to daily be obedient to love and serve ALL of my children. We are the primary vehicle that the Lord will use to bring about security and consistency in Judson’s life and on some days that is ridiculously natural and easy. On others…I question every decision I am making. Every anxiety and fear comes out and questions…am I doing this right? Am I responding in a way that will help him connect and attach to me? Can I do this?
The reality is NO…I can not do this. I detest when people say that God will not give you more than you can handle….Wanna bet? He will consistently give you more than you can handle…because in OUR weakness, HE is made strong. Because in those moments, we have a chance to die to ourselves, submit to HIM and beg Him to meet us in our need. And in that process, HIS NAME is made great and our lives are ABUNDANTLY lived.
Judson Obsi has surprised us on a daily basis. He is active, into EVERYTHING, a performer and LOVES to make people laugh. He was VERY apprehensive when we fist arrived home, with EVERYONE including Parker, Emery and Bradley. But after the first week, he realized that these kids are fun and want to take care of me. He has gotten more and more comfortable in new situations and we have gradually gotten into the community and to church. Bedtime and sleep were initally a big issue until we figured out how to approach it in a way that worked for him and for us. He is now sleeping through the night, in the room he shares with Bradley. He does not really play with toys, yet, but loves cabinets, remotes, opening and closing doors and just exploring. He loves to be outside and likes to be on the go. He has been to church, but is not ready to be in his class, yet. We have visitied his MDO class and he stayed for a little while without me in the room. Many, many, strides….he is a fighter and so resilient.
Judson has a few medical issues that we are addressing. He has been to the Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic and we are going to begin his immunizations again. We are also having him assessed for OT and PT services. He is pretty healthy and we are so thankful.
This has also been a major transition for the rest of us. I have seen my children RISE up and SERVE this little boy. I have seen Parker mature in so many small ways. She is always asking me what she can do and is such a HELPER. She blesses me. She loves to play and hold Judson, but also needs a break from him. Emery is such a GIVER. She loves to hold and play with Judson, teach him new things and just keeps coming back for more. She amazes me. Even when he has bitten or hit her, she keeps coming back to love him. Bradley has been slower to warm up, but has turned the corner. To be honest, to watch him navigate this transition, has been very emotional for this mommy. I have watched him GROW into being a big brother, to teach and play with his brother. They have lived out grace and mercy.
For me, it has been harder than I ever imagined, but more simple than I could have dreamed.
Judson Obsi, you are worth it all.